So many of you who visit my blog on a regular basis are in the design business to some capacity. And many of you have had various levels of experiences with your clients. Some better, some worse. But I have decided in an effort to better prepare those of you who are still learning and haven’t had a client experience that you would rather forget, to post some of the most off the wall things I have ever had said to me or to other designers. So please feel free to add to the list and lets her the worst of the best!

1. Why do I have to tell you what I want on my website.

2. This is a paying job ( after being 30 days past due on invoice )

3. I am not sure if you can be my designer. YOU don’t look effeminate enough.

4. This job pays overtime in expereince.

5. I need unlimited emails, hosting, a custom CMS, all pages to be tableless, and I can only give you $100. But you will get lots of exposure.

6. Why did you send an invoice? Your supposed to get PAID? ( after having sign the contract, give me the project brief, and agreed to all terms.)

7. Having the client think that I was off speaker phone and saying, “Screen that guys calls, we are not to pay him!” And followed by me just clearing my throught awkwardly. I am pretty sure I heard people quietly chuckling in the background.

8. I will trade you hypnosis for design.

9. Another designer friend of mine was actually prank called by a client that was unhappy that he wouldn’t launch his site without having his final invoice filled.

10. I was offered free drinks and lap dances for a  website trade.

So hopefully none of you have experienced some of the crazy things I have. I find it a little amusing and disturbing that I can actually come up with a top ten list. My loss, your gain. I hope that all of you can learn that no matter your location, skill level, services rendered, and people you deal with, that these things will come out of left field and completely take you back.